


Calm Before the Storm

by Cylin, MoonwalkingCrab



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Widogast Gets A Hug, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cylin/pseuds/Cylin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonwalkingCrab/pseuds/MoonwalkingCrab
Summary: Rexxentrum is not good for Caleb, but he knows he has to keep going.Caduceus knows Caleb is struggling, so he does what he can.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 19
Kudos: 213





	Calm Before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Written with my wonderful friend Cylin who got me into this ship and all the fluff it entails <3

The spires and spikes of Rexxentrum lance into the cloud-filled sky, piercing the heavens to spatter raindrops like blood across the cobbled streets. Caleb can feel it soaking into his skin, weighing down his clothes with every fat drop. He can’t think about his discomfort, though. He can’t stop. They are nearing the Chantry of the Dawn, coming closer and closer to the Shimmer Ward with every heavy step. 

Bile rises in Caleb’s throat along with a swift and certain clarity: he can’t do this.

His hands shiver and he clenches his fists tight, blunt fingernails digging into the palms of his hands. Still, he leads the group onwards until Beau calls for them to stop.

A group of monks in Cobalt Soul robes are gathered at the crossroads, stopped at one of the gatehouses that line the entrance to the Shimmer Ward. Beau squares her shoulders, straightening her Expositor’s robes and striding forwards. “Just gimme a minute, I’ll see what the problem is.” 

Following behind, the rest of the group take shelter in the various alcoves the line the border wall, huddling out of the rain. Caleb leans against the cool stone, hoping that somehow, the hard press of bricks against his cheek will ground him against the panic that ripples through him with every breath. He doesn’t have time for this, the longer he is in this place the more he can feel his past gripping at the edges of his mind, threatening to press in and overwhelm him. There is an ache in his head, growing with every frantic pound of his heart. A shudder runs through him and he clenches his eyes shut.

“Caleb?”

Caduceus’ voice is a low rumble that seems to vibrate through Caleb, cutting through the tumult of his mind. 

“How are you holding up? You okay?”

He turns, starting a little to find Caduceus’ standing closer than he’d thought, concern written in the lines around his eyes. He reaches pushing Caduceus away, shaking his damp hair from his eyes.

“We don’t have time for this,” he mutters, gaze on his feet, “this is big, this is important. We need to—”

Caleb gasps in a breath as he is pulled into a tight embrace, enveloped in Caduceus’ arms. He is pressed to Caduceus’ chest and the protest dies on his lips as the faint aura of calm that exudes from Caduceus’ every pore wraps around him. 

“It’s okay,” Caduceus says, feeling Caleb go still against him, “you can do this. We’re here.” His arms fall limp to his sides, breath warm on Caduceus’ chest, even through the layers of his clothes. A whisper of breath leaves him in a final half-hearted protest before one hand tentatively curls in the back of Caduceus’ shirt. Caleb’s grip is weak to start, his fingers clenching in damp fabric. He presses forwards, his other arm wrapping around Caduceus’ middle, grip tightening until Caleb is clinging to him, fiercely returning the hug. His breath is ragged and damp, pace quickening as Caleb presses his face to Caduceus, as if trying to hide the raw emotion that bursts from his lips with every desperate gasp.

Caduceus hums, low and soothing, one hand stroking over Caleb’s hair. It is a familiar action, he remembers doing the same thing when one of his younger sisters had nightmares. Caduceus holds Caleb close, knowing that—much as he’d probably deny it—Caleb _needs_ this.

“I’ve got you,” Caduceus murmurs, feeling another shuddering breath against his chest, warm and damp. “I’ve always got you.”

Caleb can feel his muscles go slack and lets himself slump forwards into the embrace. The tight knot of tension that binds him has loosened, just a little and it is with a note of dull surprise that he realises his cheeks are damp with more than rain.

Slow tears seep from Caleb’s eyes, completely unchecked, hidden within Caduceus’ embrace. There are no gasps, there are no sobs: Caleb doesn’t think his body has the energy for all that, there is only the steady flow from beneath his closed eyelids. Caduceus doesn’t seem to mind, or judge, simply holding Caleb tight, the gentle vibration of his hum thrumming through Caleb from the inside out. 

A shudder works its way from inside Caleb’s chest, making him shiver. Large hands stroke over his hair, gentle and soothing, smoothing down his back in warm circles. Caleb holds tight, pressing closer, leaning into the comfort that he so sorely needs but won’t admit to. Of course it is Caduceus who knows. Of course it is Caduceus who steps forth. Of _course_ it is Caduceus.

Bringing his lips to Caleb’s hair, Caduceus presses a gentle kiss to the damp strands. He can’t pretend he knows exactly what Caleb is going through, but comfort? _That_ is something he knows intimately. 

Going entirely on instinct, Caduceus drops little pecks to Caleb’s hair, lost in the scent of rainwater and that faintly unique tinge of warm human skin. It feels a little different to comforting his sister, a different kind of warmth that suffuses through him as Caleb makes no move to pull away. Caduceus leans down to press another soft kiss to Caleb’s hair, hesitating as he shifts, looking upwards to meet Caduceus’ gaze.

This kiss falls on Caleb’s forehead, just the lightest brush of lips and Caduceus can see the hint of surprise in his red-rimmed eyes, liquid blue just visible beneath tear-clumped lashes. Caduceus can feel his ear twitch as curiosity overwhelms him and he presses down again, kissing the centre of Caleb’s forehead, lips pressing over the lines that so frequently furrow Caleb’s brow.

Eyes slipping shut, another shudder of breath leaves Caleb and his fingers twitch in the back of Caduceus’ shirt. Exhaustion radiates from him, the sheer effort of keeping himself together obvious—at least to Caduceus’ eyes. He can feel the shivers that ripple through him, and the fight hasn’t even begun. A swell of admiration blooms in Caduceus’ chest and he kisses between Caleb’s eyes; he is stronger than he thinks. Caduceus is proud to be able to support him.

“You can do this,” Caduceus murmurs, lips pressing a light trail down the bridge of Caleb’s nose before nudging the very tip. He breathes deep, another hum of contentment leaving him as he nuzzles against Caleb’s nose with his own.

Caleb can feel his heartbeat speeding again, though not with the panic that Caduceus has somehow held at bay within him. He swallows, tentatively, leaning up, waiting for the next kiss to fall. His grip tightens again when he opens his eyes to find Caduceus’ closed, his almost translucent eyelashes a soft flutter on cheeks of softer grey fuzz. Caleb doesn’t press forward, he doesn’t dare to, lest something break the spell of contentment that seems to have fallen over them both.

The circle of Caduceus’ arms is an oasis of calm in the storm that surrounds them: war and weather alike, and Caleb realises he is holding his breath. A soft noise of uncertainty falls unbidden from his lips and Caduceus blinks, meeting Caleb’s gaze.

It takes a moment, but not much more—Caduceus has always been good at reading body language—for him to realise exactly what Caleb is telling him. 

It is a gentle realisation, like waves breaking on the shore and Caduceus tilts his head, considering, another faint hum in the back of his throat. He presses his nose to Caleb’s once more, testing the waters, imitating an action he has seen Caleb do with Frumpkin too many times to count. Slowly, gently, Caduceus brings his lips to Caleb’s cheek, feeling the warm flush of blood beneath the mixed rainwater and tears. The contact is brief, barely a kiss, barely a touch, simply an exploration.

Another shiver ripples through Caleb, softer this time, nothing to do with the chaos that surrounds them. His breath is warm on Caduceus’ skin as he tilts his head in an unspoken request for him to continue.

Caduceus can feel a burst of surprise within him, a pleased hum rumbling deep in his chest, something which makes Caleb’s lips twitch up in the faintest of smiles. He breathes deep, closing his eyes once more.

Caduceus’ movements are still slow and considered, but he moves with purpose now, a clear destination in mind. The gentle presses of his lips curl over Caleb’s cheek like summer ivy, gently caressing a new spot each time.

There is a faint tremor in Caduceus’ breath and Caleb can feel a shiver where one soft ear rests against his cheek: the first sign of Caduceus’ own nerves. His hands have come to rest on Caleb’s back, still keeping him grounded, still solid and warm.

Finally, the careful, creeping kisses reach the corner of Caleb’s mouth and Caduceus hesitates. Caleb can feel another quivering breath on his cheek and blinks up. Caduceus’ gaze is entirely upon him, watching, waiting for something. It is with a rush of affection that Caleb realises Caduceus is waiting for him, needing him to confirm that it is all okay.

Caleb gives the slightest of nods, breathing in and leaning up on his toes. He tightens his arms around Caduceus and hears him inhale: in relief perhaps.

Even with his new clothes and more regular baths, Caleb still smells fantastic to Caduceus. He smells of earth and charcoal, of old parchment and warm skin. The scent of fresh tears makes Caduceus think of spring dawns, reminding him off moss and dampness and all that his home once was: all that he has left to an uncertain fate. There is a deep yearning inside him, sadness and elation mixed into a single hollow echo in his chest. As he presses close to Caleb, Caduceus can feel that desire deepen.

Caleb’s eyes are as wide and open as his expression, his gaze fixed on Caduceus’ with a glimmer that has nothing to do with tears. He leans down, feeling his heart speed, eyes slipping closed.

The sound of a distant explosion echoes through the winding streets and Caleb and Caduceus jolt apart, time suddenly rushing back into play around them. Caleb winces, glancing around and hearing the voice of Pumat Sol in the next alcove over.

“The, ah, distraction sounds like it’s still going on.”

Caleb meets Caduceus’ eyes, seeing a sheepish grin on his lips and feels a flutter of warmth. He is pulled in for another gentle embrace, Caduceus’ lips brushing his forehead once more.

“I’ve got you,” Caduceus murmurs, feeling the heat that has risen to his cheeks, one ear still brushing gently against Caleb’s skin. 

Caleb's fingers tighten, just a moment, his breathing starting to even out again. “I’ve got you, too.”

"Oh," Caduceus says, realisation evident in his voice. "Oh yeah." His breath ghosts against Caleb's face as he speaks before dipping his head to nuzzle affectionately at Caleb’s tiny human ear. "Yeah, that's nice."

Another distant explosion echoes in the distance, another diversion, reminding them of why they are here. Caleb steels himself, drawing strength from Caduceus' warmth. He grits his teeth.

"I guess we have work to do." He squeezes tight at Caduceus’ back, breathing deep and meeting his gaze. “We’ll continue this later, _ja_?”

An unexpected noise escapes Caduceus’ throat, small, slightly sorrowful, swallowed away as he nods to Caleb, their foreheads brushing. Pulling away, their eyes meet. “Yeah,” Caduceus says, tightening his shield, “let’s go do what’s needed. We can change things here today. We _will_ change things. For the better.” 

The sound of footsteps comes closer through the rainfall and Caleb can see Caduceus’ ears swivel as Beau reappears. “Okay, we’re good, Cobalt Soul have gone on ahead. Everyone ready here?” If she is surprised to see Caleb and Caduceus embracing, she doesn’t show it, quickly checking in with the rest of the group.

Caduceus smiles, squeezing Caleb once more before he lets him go. He ambles over towards Beau and touches one shoulder, gentle green light flaring as he casts a spell Caleb doesn’t recognise. “Death Ward,” he rumbles before striding out into the rain, which is just starting to lessen.

Beau looks to Caleb, who still feels slightly stunned, raising an eyebrow in his direction and placing one hand on his shoulder, faint concern in the tone of her voice. "You okay, man?"

Caleb kinda tilts his head, not a nod or a shake. "Not yet," he says. "But I will be."

A few feet away, Caduceus smiles, privately, proudly, his hearing as good as ever. He looks to the single beam of sun, slanting through the clouds and lighting their way towards the Chantry of the Dawn. Change is in the air, and they are all changing with it. There is a lightness inside him, rising against the faint fear that worms through his body. In a way, change is a constant, the only thing that matters. 

Caduceus glances back towards Caleb and feels a flutter of warmth in his chest.

They can do this.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, friends, I am always up to chat on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MoonwalkingCrab) or [ tumblr](http://moonwalkingcrab.tumblr.com/) 😘


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